Comments on: The Gospel According to Joe http://lasthussar.wordpress.com/2007/04/29/the-gospel-according-to-joe/ A man with issues. Thu, 07 Jan 2010 20:35:20 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Last Hussar http://lasthussar.wordpress.com/2007/04/29/the-gospel-according-to-joe/#comment-23 Last Hussar Fri, 11 May 2007 00:50:27 +0000 http://lasthussar.wordpress.com/2007/04/29/the-gospel-according-to-joe/#comment-23 Continues http://lasthussar.wordpress.com/2007/05/01/bible-noir-pt-2/ Continues http://lasthussar.wordpress.com/2007/05/01/bible-noir-pt-2/

]]> By: Last_Hussar http://lasthussar.wordpress.com/2007/04/29/the-gospel-according-to-joe/#comment-4 Last_Hussar Sun, 29 Apr 2007 14:53:42 +0000 http://lasthussar.wordpress.com/2007/04/29/the-gospel-according-to-joe/#comment-4 Just to be clear- I retain copyright. Just to be clear- I retain copyright.

]]> By: lasthussar http://lasthussar.wordpress.com/2007/04/29/the-gospel-according-to-joe/#comment-3 lasthussar Sun, 29 Apr 2007 14:10:50 +0000 http://lasthussar.wordpress.com/2007/04/29/the-gospel-according-to-joe/#comment-3 At the time I was working swing shift in Jerusalem. I suppose you could have called me and my team policemen, though counter insurgents would have been a better description half the time, and we didn't really have shifts. We turned up when we were needed, and hung around until we weren't. We were the Jewish face of the Occupation. Pilate felt it was better if it was Jews doing the arresting, rather than his foreigners. I met him once, after we had grabbed a couple of trouble makers. I say met: he and his entourage graced our cells for a few minutes, so he could look into the eyes of the men who wished him dead, and his remark was for general consumption, though he addressed it to a point six inches over my head. "You're good men," he assured me "an important link between governor and governed." At this point he glanced at the brutish Germanic Auxiliary of a bodyguard "After all, if you're going to tell a man to eff off, you should at least have the courtesy to do it in his own language". That was Pilate all over- he would offer you a stick to defend yourself with, but made sure he was holding the clean end. And that tells you all you need to know about my job, but I'm going to tell you more, just so you know how dirty the other end of that stick was. We went out, found the troublemakers, the ones who would do more than grumble about the Romans and their auxiliary. We'd grab them and, shall we say, discourage them from going too far. I prided myself that I could get inside their heads, and see what it would take to stop them. Even back then I didn't think that a cross every two hundred paces would solve anything, so I tried to get them to give it all up. That sounds trite. What I actually did was explain to kids what the Romans would do to them if they caught them, not me. Then I would tell them what the auxiliaries would do to their families. Think that still sounds like social work? Then you ought to see Levi administering his own brand of social work on the ones who grew up with out taking the hint. He was always very fair about it, always broke the same bones or gave the same bruises for the same crimes. I just made sure they could walk away, and probably wouldn't die in the next week. With some of them, education came a poor second to zeal. They were the ones that were crucified. Sometimes we cut out the middle man and didn't bother getting the Romans involved. Now you're wondering what sort of man does that for an invader. Well I was doing it for the Elders, for our people. Too many of these criminals were scum. Freedom fighters? Don't make me laugh. Those who weren't bandits were blasphemers. When I say troublemakers I didn't say revolutionaries, angry mobs waving their auntie's kitchen knife. The Romans took care of those. Pilate had his legions for them. I'm talking about the criminals, the dissenters, the false prophets, the ten-a-shekel cult leaders, always telling people that they were the way to god, that we should ignore the Sadducees. At least the Romans are honest. They say do what we say, because we have soldiers. If we kicked them out and a king rose in their place, would he be honest? Or would he say 'Do what I say because God told me so'. Does it really matter if a man is crucified by a Roman governor, or stoned by a Jewish king? And still, it wasn't without its exhilaration. Chasing a heretic through the desert on a moonlit night, or a thief across the rooftops under the blazing sun. You think you know how to live? Try facing a Goliath of a man who pulls a knife. That's living, every instinct sharper than his blade, your nerves taut like a lyre's string, your brain screaming at you that every breath may be your last. You don't live until you are close to death. And you can sleep soundly knowing there are men like me and Levi prepared to be close to death This time, it was different. This time the punter was different. He acted like no other religious nutter we had ever seen. All we knew was someone high up had said "stop this one" with no reason on the order. At the time I was working swing shift in Jerusalem. I suppose you could have called me and my team policemen, though counter insurgents would have been a better description half the time, and we didn’t really have shifts. We turned up when we were needed, and hung around until we weren’t.
We were the Jewish face of the Occupation. Pilate felt it was better if it was Jews doing the arresting, rather than his foreigners. I met him once, after we had grabbed a couple of trouble makers. I say met: he and his entourage graced our cells for a few minutes, so he could look into the eyes of the men who wished him dead, and his remark was for general consumption, though he addressed it to a point six inches over my head.
“You’re good men,” he assured me “an important link between governor and governed.” At this point he glanced at the brutish Germanic Auxiliary of a bodyguard “After all, if you’re going to tell a man to eff off, you should at least have the courtesy to do it in his own language”. That was Pilate all over- he would offer you a stick to defend yourself with, but made sure he was holding the clean end.
And that tells you all you need to know about my job, but I’m going to tell you more, just so you know how dirty the other end of that stick was. We went out, found the troublemakers, the ones who would do more than grumble about the Romans and their auxiliary. We’d grab them and, shall we say, discourage them from going too far. I prided myself that I could get inside their heads, and see what it would take to stop them. Even back then I didn’t think that a cross every two hundred paces would solve anything, so I tried to get them to give it all up. That sounds trite. What I actually did was explain to kids what the Romans would do to them if they caught them, not me. Then I would tell them what the auxiliaries would do to their families. Think that still sounds like social work? Then you ought to see Levi administering his own brand of social work on the ones who grew up with out taking the hint. He was always very fair about it, always broke the same bones or gave the same bruises for the same crimes. I just made sure they could walk away, and probably wouldn’t die in the next week. With some of them, education came a poor second to zeal. They were the ones that were crucified. Sometimes we cut out the middle man and didn’t bother getting the Romans involved.
Now you’re wondering what sort of man does that for an invader. Well I was doing it for the Elders, for our people. Too many of these criminals were scum. Freedom fighters? Don’t make me laugh. Those who weren’t bandits were blasphemers. When I say troublemakers I didn’t say revolutionaries, angry mobs waving their auntie’s kitchen knife. The Romans took care of those. Pilate had his legions for them. I’m talking about the criminals, the dissenters, the false prophets, the ten-a-shekel cult leaders, always telling people that they were the way to god, that we should ignore the Sadducees.
At least the Romans are honest. They say do what we say, because we have soldiers. If we kicked them out and a king rose in their place, would he be honest? Or would he say ‘Do what I say because God told me so’. Does it really matter if a man is crucified by a Roman governor, or stoned by a Jewish king?
And still, it wasn’t without its exhilaration. Chasing a heretic through the desert on a moonlit night, or a thief across the rooftops under the blazing sun. You think you know how to live? Try facing a Goliath of a man who pulls a knife. That’s living, every instinct sharper than his blade, your nerves taut like a lyre’s string, your brain screaming at you that every breath may be your last. You don’t live until you are close to death. And you can sleep soundly knowing there are men like me and Levi prepared to be close to death

This time, it was different. This time the punter was different. He acted like no other religious nutter we had ever seen. All we knew was someone high up had said “stop this one” with no reason on the order.

]]> By: lasthussar http://lasthussar.wordpress.com/2007/04/29/the-gospel-according-to-joe/#comment-2 lasthussar Sun, 29 Apr 2007 14:10:11 +0000 http://lasthussar.wordpress.com/2007/04/29/the-gospel-according-to-joe/#comment-2 You cultists, you always ask the same question. Was I there? If you mean when he died, then no, I wasn't there. But I saw the rest of it. You cultists, you always ask the same question. Was I there? If you mean when he died, then no, I wasn’t there. But I saw the rest of it.

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