Named after the TV show (not the room in 1984 which the TV show took its idea from).  If you could get rid of, say, half a dozen things what would they be, and why.  Possibly a good idea to keep any contributions light hearted.  It is obvious that religeous fundies (of any colour) and Neo-Cons/the Right etc, all need a damn good kicking, so rather than pick the obvious, lets go for matters day to day.

 Mine

1- Tomatoes in sandwiches.  Why ruin a perfectly good ‘bacon and lettuce sandwich with mayo’, by making it soggy.

2- Marmite. Pure evil in a jar.

3- Mobile phone culture.  Mobiles have their place. Great if you are away from a proper phone and need an urgent call.  There is no need to go round Tesco’s with one clamped to your earhole saying ‘Did you want green peppers or red?  How much milk? Does Daphne like lamb?’ A definate lack of planning and common sense.  ESPECIALLY fat, thick people who wear a bluetooth ear piece all the time. Why? What call are you going to get in the supermarket that is sooo important that you can’t clamp the fricking thing to your ear.  Do you really need to be ‘hands free’ in the lager aisle, or are you just a poseur.  No one is impressed, no one thinks you are the dog’s bollocks, because they all have one, and know you dont need it.

4-Disney. Not funny, not entertaining. Warner Bros is the way to make cartoons. Or Dreamworks (and before you say it- Toy Story was made by Pixar, its just bankrolled by disney, not created by them).

 5- Fat people who say “It’s not my fault, it’s my genes.” Well how did Watson and Crick miss that one, that DNA looks like a Big Mac with large fries and a jumbo shake.

6- Misuse of English. Affect and Effect are two different words. Learn to use them correctly or shut up.  Also I would like to point out to the Board of Her Majesties Revenue and Customs “Outwith” is a dialect Scottish word. Using it does not make you look more professional, it makes you look like a bunch of tossers.  There is a perfectly good word in common usage for ‘Outside’.  That word is “Outside”. And Americans- we don’t moan you spell incorrectly, but don’t make the rest of us do it- coloUr, sulPHur etc.

 7- Stop moaning about the ‘Nanny State’. What you mean is “I want the state to help me, but I am going to sulk if you stop me doing something that I want to, despite it being anti social.  And that goes for the phrase “It’s political correctness gone mad.”

Advertisements