Some of you may be aware that Conspiracy Theorists produce many wild theories about the destruction of the Death Star.  How could the galaxy’s mightiest battle station be destroyed by a handful of light fighters, and point out that the pilot that fired fatal shot was the SON of the station commander, who had, unbelievably left combat command to take to the battle in his person fight craft shortly before the Death Star blew up.

However, I have emails sent in the weeks before the battle that tell a different story, and here I present them, Wikileaks style. (more below the fold)

To: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From Waka.Snoor@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: Exhaust Port cover

Jaru,
I’ve just been reviewing the build in section 7F – the exhaust port they made us put in for emergency venting.  I know your views on the decision, but it’s done now, and we have to live with it, but what isn’t immediately obvious from the blueprint until you go looking for it, is a problem caused by the fact it is a retro fit. 

It runs off junction Omega Blue, and I reckon any junk that gets into it may be directed towards the main reactor.  It’s no biggie, but it would increase maintenance costs.  As long as no energy pulse gets down there we should be fine.

I’ve designed a cover/manifold that can be bolted in place that should stop this.
Attachment <<ventprotector.pdf>>

Waka

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To Gruu.Caleb@works.Deathstar.Emp
CC: Waka.Snoor@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: RE: Exhaust Port cover

Take a look at Waka’s email – can you arrange this?

Jaru

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To: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Gruu.Caleb@works.Deathstar.Emp
Subject: RE: RE: Exhaust Port cover

No probs.  However I do need the oversight team to sign it off so it gets on the schedule.

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To: OversightCommittee@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
CC: Gruu.Caleb@works.Deathstar.Emp, Waka.Snoor@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Exhaust Port cover

Can you add this to the list please?

Thanks

Overseer Nefu

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To: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: OversightCommittee@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Exhaust Port cover

 Overseer,

After checking our records there is no listed part “Exhaust Port Cover” currently in the database.  We are thus unable to add it.

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To: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
CC: Zofa.Houk@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: OversightCommittee@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Exhaust Port cover

 Overseer,

Following your vox-call earlier I can confirm that if you supply the number for the exhaust port cover, we will add it to the job list.

 However since agreeing this we have subsequently discovered the meaning of ‘bean-counting bantha poodoo”, and will be taking this matter up with your manager directly.

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To: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Zofa.Houk@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Exhaust Port cover

 J,

Don’t sweat this – I’ll look after the bean counters.  You get the cover in place.

Z

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To: Waka.Snoor@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Exhaust Port cover

 Any ideas where we can get a part number from?

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To: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Waka.Snoor@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Exhaust Port cover

 I grav-ball with a guy on the energy design team – I’ll have a word with him.

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To: Hujk.Khud@Design.DeathStar.Emp
From: Waka.Snoor@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Exhaust Port cover

 Attachment <<ventprotector.pdf>>

 Can you check this over and get it in the database?

 Waka

You still on for tonight?

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To: Waka.Snoor@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Hujk.Khud@Design.DeathStar.Emp

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Exhaust Port cover

Tell the pointy heads part number 82563/K/7F/OB. I’ve updated the DS plans to make sure the lugs get put on the port’s rim – they should be finishing up that sector within the next few days, so they’ll get done then.

 Nice design – sure you don’t want a job here?  Indoor work with no heavy lifting J

 19:90 at the Wookie and Firkin as usual?

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To: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Waka.Snoor@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Exhaust Port cover

 What Hujk said about the part number.

 Any news on the hand rails for the walkways?

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To: OversightCommittee@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Zofa.Houk@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: Job List Update

Please place attachment of part 82563/K/7F/OB on to the job list as part of the snagging of Sector 7F.

Thank You

Overseer Nefu

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To: Zofa.Houk@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Dara.Brot@Finance.Coruscant.Emp
Subject: Request for change to job manifest.

Your request has been denied for immediate resolution due to the needs to maintain budget control.  As you are aware Organa’s terrorist outfit requires an enhancement of our civil defence plans, and in these monetarily tight times it is important that we direct money toward projects that will defend civilians, such as Star Destroyers, rather than non front-line jobs such as redesigns of all ready approved projects.

However if you place your request for approval on next year’s budget list, it will be given proper consideration.

D Brot,

Accountant 2nd Grade

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To: Zofa.Houk@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: SysAdmin@TechSupport.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: Forwarded email to Gruu.Caleb@works.Deathstar.Emp, Waka.Snoor@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp

 This is an automated email.  Please do not reply to this address.

 Dear User,

As you will know, the Empire prides itself on being a friendly organisation.  Therefore we do not allow any form of explicit language in any communication.  Please help Us help You avoid disciplinary measures by keeping all emails polite.

 SysAdmin

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 To Gruu.Caleb@works.Deathstar.Emp, Waka.Snoor@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: RE: Request for change to job manifest.

 I’ll try again, this time without describing the mothers of accountants!

 Any ideas on how to get this done?  Waka’s right- a stray energy pulse could black out 3 or 4 sectors, and I can’t face the complaints we will get – the Holo-Cinemas are in that sector.

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To: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp, Waka.Snoor@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Gruu.Caleb@works.Deathstar.Emp
Subject: RE: RE: Request for change to job manifest.

We get a budget after every operation for repairs and restock.  I’ve checked the blueprint, and Hujk has specified Waka’s manifold.  I’ll stick it on the ‘Check Once’ list, so next time we go live they will check this- see the manifold isn’t in place and “replace” it.  Simples.

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To Gruu.Caleb@works.Deathstar.Emp, Waka.Snoor@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
From: Jaru.Nefu@Engineering.DeathStar.Emp
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Request for change to job manifest.

Good one- Next “Go Live” is in the Yavin system, so it can get fixed after that.

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