Worst Adventuring Parties EVER Thursday, Nov 26 2015 


Gandalf and Thorin

Fellowship 2

Uncle Balin was right, you can’t put a balanced party together.

Shut up Gimli.

A wizard, an elf fighter, a dwarf fighter, two human fighters…

I’m a ranger

…one of whom speaks ‘Bunny’

and four level 0 halflings.  At least Bilbo levelled up to a Thief.

I’ve got 3 skill points in Cooking.

And again, not one bloody cleric or healer.

And anyway, it’s “Speak to Stoat” actually.

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Weird things you find out as a writer. Sunday, Jul 26 2015 


Isobel (lead female in new novel) has her next period this Tuesday coming.

I didn’t mean to work it out, it came up in conversation.  I have had to timeline this one, because unlike ‘Promises’ I need to keep track of who’s doing what (or even who’s doing who!)

Alex and Izzy who houseshare are having the following conversation, and I know the date it is happening:

“I was having some really weird dreams, and when I woke up all sorts of stuff was going through my head.”  She forked some yolk covered salmon into her mouth.

“Is it ‘cause you’re due on Monday?”

“Could be… hold on, how do you know when my period is?”

“You don’t need a sexual relationship with a woman you share a house with for any length of time to know that,” he said, “and you are like clockwork.”

“Most men don’t, No-Show was always surprised.  When’s my next one then?”

She watched as Alex did the maths muttering under his breath and then said “Twenty-eighth of July, which will be a Tuesday.”

The fact that this is 2 days away from when I’m writing is a complete co-incidence.

 

Devrions-nous être Charlie? Tuesday, Jan 20 2015 


George Galloway has described Charlie Hebdo as “a racist, Islamophobic, hypocritical rag.  Typical of Gorgeous George he ignores everything that he can’t get angry about, that doesn’t prove or argue with what he believes.  He ignores the magazine’s continued and long standing criticism of the Catholic Church, for instance.  Like the Pope he blames the victim.

To stand with Charlie Hebdo isn’t flowers on a celebrity’s grave, an act of condolence of a stranger.  It is to make a stand against those who say “You may not say anything about my religion, because I will be offended.”  That attitude would be unacceptable with any other notion: caricatures of politicians aren’t stopped because those who believe in their policies profoundly are upset.    Criticising someone’s home town may be downright rude, but isn’t something that can never be said.  Yet religeon demands this pass – despite not only the followers of Abraham splinting into three sects that not only disagree vehemently with each other, they can’t even agree among themselves what they believe, yet attack anyone who questions their world view as intolerant.  Einstein may not have liked Niels Bohr’s sub-atomic theories, but he did admit their correctness when proof was shown.  He didn’t feel the need to set off a bomb.

This is the response I put on HuffPo UK

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Top Gear sorry for Waterloo station Saturday, Oct 11 2014 


The BBC have today apologised for a scene where Jeremy Clarkson is seen driving past Waterloo Station. The French Embassy lambasted Top Gear for insensitively reminding everyone that it took a British General to stop a crazed meglomaniac from taking over Europe.

BBC spokeswoman, Ebola McBlamehound, said “It is obviously unfeeling for the BBC not to do everything in its power to change the name of the Station.

Another Poem for my Wife Tuesday, Mar 11 2014 


It was suggested to me recently I haven’t written a poem in a while. I took the hint. Not sure it’s what she expected, though.

Everywhere on Earth
There are things that come in twos
Coz no one likes the rhythm
Without listening to the blues.

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Chinese to fake ‘Fake Moon landing’ Sunday, Jan 19 2014 


Chinese space officials today admitted that they are sending real astronauts to the moon, as it is easier than faking a moon-landing convincingly.

“Modelling the low gravity on a sound stage is a huge problem,” one unnamed official admitted.  “We tried CGI, but the cost of the render-time was more than actually sending a ship there.”

Instead the actual landing will be preceded by 2 other spaceships, one carrying the 20 man production crew, and another containing a specially made Ikea flat pack sound stage – known as “fakr”- with all the pieces needed, including polystyrene ‘moon-rocks’.

NASA official Buzz Trellis said “We wish we’d done this.  No-one believes real footage- fake is always more convincing.”

Book is finished Saturday, Apr 27 2013 


It’s come in at 118000 words, or there about. It’s currently with 3 people for reading/finding cockups/grammar errors.

It also has two endings, I don’t know which one I want.

I’ve Finished my book! Tuesday, Feb 26 2013 


Ok, maybe not finished finished -I need to round off the odd chapter – I’ve put in ??? to say ‘Something more, possibly’.

But after 15 months (I had a long break in the middle, – not stressed enough) and 118,000 words I have a novel that can be read as such.

Now just need to tighten up the start, make sure the continuity works, and correct a few pages. THEN start the editing of the first draft.

BUT

I actually have a novel.
Bugger. That’s a bit scary. Never written anything this long before