Red or Black – What a load of crap Sunday, Sep 4 2011 


Ant and Dec’s latest vehicle is “Red or Black” – a ‘game’ (in the loosest sense of the word) show that has just started on ITV in Britain.  It definately suffers from “LOOK AT THIS – THIS IS AWESOME!”  Hint- No it isn’t.

Take 256 audience members, and have them guess red or black in a series of contests that are 50/50 between the ‘red’ option and the ‘black’ (although the need to lose exactly half every time means those at the back of the queue get no choice).  The last contestent then guesses Red or Black on a giant proto roulette wheel to win “ONE MILLION POUNDS”!  There is no skill – each challenge is as close to 50/50 as the producers can get (One show included jousting on top of cars, tightrope walker race, top golfers Rory McIlroy and Lee Westwood trying to hit a gong in a lake, and picking a place at a table set for 32. Each had a hidden jelly/jello, and on the word they all lifted the cloches to reveal if it was red or black). 

Yet each round is turned into an Olympian contest – the winning colour jelly was revealed by the colour of the table top.  The cloth was removed by ATTACHING IT TO A MOTORBIKE AND PULLING! AWESOME!  Cue interviews with tearful members of the losing half, people upset at being knocked out in round two – you’d think they had just lost their life savings, and then asking the survivors what their strategy is in the next round.  And do these epic contests take place in a normal studio? NO, THIS IS AWESOME, so it starts in Wembley arena (USians – think Madison Square Gardens) before the remaining 128 are bussed to a Stately Home for games in the grounds. 

This all takes an hour, to whittle down from 256 to 8.  That is 5 rounds.  There is then a half hour break while they show another programme, then we return for THE GRAND FINALE!!1!11 (more…)

Right Wing newspaper lies – Shock! Friday, Jul 22 2011 


Some of you may have seen stories about “We’re not celebrating Waterloo in 2015 because we might upset the French”.

Guess what. it was a load of right wing press bollocks.

I actually bothered to email the Dept of Culture Media and Sport, and asking, and this is the reply.

Dear Mr Hopping

Thank you for your recent e-mail, about the 200th anniversary of Waterloo, in 2015, not being celebrated.

I’m happy to confirm that what you have read in the press is incorrect, and that discussions are taking place within Government to determine how best to formally commemorate this anniversary.

Planning is already being carried out by Waterloo 200, an umbrella organisation which is overseeing the anniversary, and more information can be found on its website www.waterloo200.org

I hope you are reassured by this information.

Regards,

Chris Green

Ministerial Support Team

Department for Culture, Media & Sport

The Daily Mail ran the original story.  I won’t dignify them with a link.  Remember, in the ’30s they supported Hitler.

You cannot hope
to bribe or twist,
thank God!
the British journalist.

 But, seeing what
the man will do
unbribed, there’s
no occasion to.

 ‘The Uncelestial City’, Humbert Wolfe, 1930

Moon Landing Conspiracy idiot sees stars Tuesday, Jul 21 2009 


40 years ago two men walked on the moon, the culmination of a feat embodying all that is best about the human spirit.

However in the modern fucked up world there are those who see Government conspiracy, who must undermine others.  This is what happened two years ago when one – 37 year old Bart Sibrel- calls Buzz Aldrin- at the time of this video 72 years old- a liar  to his face.

Hero of the Human Race – WIN

Elitest Bastard (aka Hussar goes off on one) Tuesday, Mar 10 2009 


See that blue button with Richard Dawkins on it?  Click on it (not yet- I haven’t finished ranting at you) and you will go to the Carnival of the Elitist Bastards.  Who?  A bunch of bloggers generally pissed off with everything being so damn stupid.

Why am I proud to be an elitist?  The question should be why are you so unconcerned not to be?

We are people who are just annoyed that there is a movement against intellectualism.  I am sick and tired of being clever being seen as somehow a bad thing.  Someone who can kick, throw or hit a ball gets paid millions of pounds, while those who actually work worry about the recession.

People revel in not being good at maths.It’s seen as something funny.  I know I’m good at day to day maths, but I am amazed how many people don’t understand basic principles.

“How does this affect you?”  you say “why should you care?” Because a dumbed down population affects the economy and the planet.

People who don’t understand basic maths GET TO VOTE, often based on what they think will be best for the economy.  They can’t do percentages, for FSM’s sake, how are they supposed to weigh up the advantages and disadvantages of a Keynsian solution?

It is a fact that people, all of us, even Stephen Hawkins, are stupid to one degree or another.   We are very good at ignoring evidence that doesn’t back up our personal beliefs.  Jeremy Clarkson doesn’t like the fact that cars are contributing to destroying the planet. Solution? Insult environmentalists.  Republicans don’t like the fact that Neo-Con ideas have screwed up the market. Call Obama a socialist. The Religious Right don’t like the fact that science shows the Bible isn’t literally true. Solution? Attack anyone who relies on evidence rather than 4000 year old fairy-stories.

And where does it leave us? Click on the break, and I’ll tell you. Forcefully. (more…)

I’m sorry Jade, I don’t care (and it may be my readers fault). Sunday, Mar 8 2009 


In recent weeks much has been published about Jade Goody and her terminal cancer.

I’m sorry. I really don’t care that much.

It’s not that I’m a heartless bastard, but she is a stranger to me. Yes it is sad that she is so young- in her twenties- and that she leaves two small children. But lots of people die young, leaving children. We do not get the wall to wall coverage of them.

You may be surprised that the one person I DON’T blame for this over-exposure is Jade herself. She has been making as much money as possible from the media (Wedding in “OK” etc) as possible, so as to leave as much money as possible for he boys.  Given her career as a ‘C’ list celeb, some have suggested she probably has more money than most, though if it was me I would still worry.

No I blame the idiots in the media (obviously) who think that we want to see it, that parasite Max Clifford, her ‘publicist’ (who will no doubt say he’s just helping her ‘secure her childrens’  future- to him I say “On what percentage?”) and people like you, dear reader. (more…)