Weird things you find out as a writer. Sunday, Jul 26 2015 


Isobel (lead female in new novel) has her next period this Tuesday coming.

I didn’t mean to work it out, it came up in conversation.  I have had to timeline this one, because unlike ‘Promises’ I need to keep track of who’s doing what (or even who’s doing who!)

Alex and Izzy who houseshare are having the following conversation, and I know the date it is happening:

“I was having some really weird dreams, and when I woke up all sorts of stuff was going through my head.”  She forked some yolk covered salmon into her mouth.

“Is it ‘cause you’re due on Monday?”

“Could be… hold on, how do you know when my period is?”

“You don’t need a sexual relationship with a woman you share a house with for any length of time to know that,” he said, “and you are like clockwork.”

“Most men don’t, No-Show was always surprised.  When’s my next one then?”

She watched as Alex did the maths muttering under his breath and then said “Twenty-eighth of July, which will be a Tuesday.”

The fact that this is 2 days away from when I’m writing is a complete co-incidence.

 

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My characters surprise me again. Friday, Jan 13 2012 


There is a phrase I’ve come across in the online writing community ‘Pantsing’.  This means ‘Writing by the Seat of your pants’ – ie making it up as you go along, with minimal plotting ahead.  It seems that most writers sharing their experiences online are a mixture of Pantsers and Plotters (ie have it all laid out before start), myself included.  The previous post on this blog revealed the surprise this can lead too.

And now it’s happened again.  I am happily writing a scene, I know exactly what the next bit is (not the precise words- imagine having to write a presentation: you know the topic, you just need to find how to vocalise it).

THEN the lead character reveals with NO WARNING WHAT SO EVER that he almost had one of his closest friends committed to hospital under the Mental Health Act.

I literally had no idea!  I finished one paragraph, went to write the next and he said something completely different.  I had just enough time to stop myself writing and add a set up for the next 250 words correctly.

Mind you, this whole chapter has been hiding surprises from me.  I knew it existed- its a party, but I wasn’t sure what I was going to write about.  I just knew it needed to exist as a bridge between two major plot points.  A little later I realised I needed to introduce a new character to tie up the loose ends in what I suppose is the ‘C’ arc of the book, and I look at this as yet unwritten chapter, and find this guy fully formed with a appropriate back story, as if just waiting for me to find him.

Ok.  I may be getting a little wierd as I get older…

Especially for my Daughter-In-Law Sunday, Dec 4 2011 


zombie cheesus chocolate bunny 

zombie cheesus chocolate bunny

zombie cheesus chocolate bunny

Can Time Travellers commit adultery with their own spouse? Tuesday, Jun 21 2011 


You know those odd random thoughts you get, that sort of buzz annoyingly round your head like a wasp too stupid to fly out of an open window?  Here’s one from today.

If you go back in time, and arrive home, pretending to be the younger you, and have sex with your husband/wife in the past, are you cheating on your Now-Spouse?  What if you travel to before you met, and seduce the young future spouse?

The ultimate sulk in our ‘want it now’ society Saturday, Feb 27 2010 


Because not having money at all is better than having next week.

Kadir-Buxton for World President Friday, Jan 29 2010 


You will be amazed what this man has done- whether persuading Gorbachev to end the cold war, or advising the UN on deep drill wells.

http://www.kadir-buxton.com/page24.htm

He has a list of amazing inventions (on the left of the page). Did you know a woman’s G-Spot has a colour?

Narwhals – Take that PZ Sunday, Jan 17 2010 


Prof Myers may wish to note the supremacy of mammals at approx 19 seconds.

teddy bear hail to the dictator Friday, Sep 11 2009 


This was a search engine term that brought someone to the Barracks. I have to know, can the person tell me what they were looking for, and what they actually found here?

Be my padawan Friday, Apr 17 2009 


Create a Brute, fight, and become my Pupil- click below

http://last-hussar.mybrute.com.

I’ve got my first weirdo Monday, Mar 23 2009 


Askimet does a good job at catching spam- of the thousands of spam that has been posted, all but 1 or 2 have been caught, and I don’t think any ‘real comments’ have been misdirected.  I drop into the spam bucket occasionally just to double check:- usually it is just long strings of words related to either 1) sex or 2) cars and, I suppose, a forlorn hope they will somehow make it past filters, and some one will click the link.

I’ve just found this

notscarednews

[I.P./email etc deleted to protect the strange]

I have to make it public. It’s suppose to be secret, however most people in Austin, Tx knows about it. The police department has machine that can read your mind. It can also change the way you feel. Sexual impulses, anger, and causing you to feel fear paranoia, basically anyway they would like to feel. This means it can cause a girl or boy to feel sexual. So sexual that they will have sex with strangers. This is just like rape. This is just one crime they commit with this machine. A machine that can read someone’s mind will be used to violate everyones civil rights. Ideas and secrets about company will be stolen by their competition with ease. People will be spied on in there homes, without a warrant. (this means someone will be able to watch you during intimacy without your knowledge.) There are a lot of people all over the United States knowing about this machine and the police department being able to use it. Start thinking about how the government has given the police department a weapon to commit not only one of the biggest civil rights violations of all time, but to commit war crimes such as rape and interrogation without the knowledge of the victim. I know it is hard to believe however if you happen to know someone in the police department, just ask if they have this machine. After that, I would also like people to think about how we are able to get the government to stop letting the police department violate civil rights and commit war crimes against there own citizens.

 

I know it’s bad form to feed the troll, but I like the idea of a Barrack’s Pet Weirdo.  I will keep a look out for more posts

Move over Spidey… Wednesday, Jan 14 2009 


There’s a new Super in town
Marvel Super Hero

Marvel Super Hero

You can blame Les for this one.  He provided the link to the Marvel ‘Make your own Superhero’ site.

Earth Tremor in Buckinghamshire Wednesday, Feb 27 2008 


At least that’s what I assume it was.  Sitting here half an hour ago- 1 in the morning, and the room began to shake, lasting about 5 seconds.  If you got it too let me know where you are  by posting below (0100 GMT 27 Feb 2008).

I thought ‘Hey an earth tremor- thats a new experience!’  Then I began to think, what if it wasn’t- what if it was the house?  The trouble is who do you ask at 1 in the morning?  I ended up phoning the police.  Confused the poor chap at the other end, as I asked where he was- threw him a bit to start with.

 I explained that I thought we had an earth tremor- and they were the only people I could think of awake at 1am.  He said he had felt something, and wondered what.  As he confirmed, others in the control room said they had felt something- as far as I could tell they had all been worried about being the first to say anything in case they were dreaming.

Not as rational as I’d hoped. Sunday, Nov 11 2007 


When I visit Les’ board over at http://stupidevilbastard.com/ one of the frequesnt topics is religeon, and the gulf with reality that certain Americans seem to have when it comes to the difference between Religeon and scientific fact.  Some contributors look longingly at Europe and wish that they lived somewhere where religeon intrudes less on daily life.

 Then I read this

42% of Britons pray, survey finds
Praying makes people feel “peaceful and content” and more than 40% of us are engaged in this spiritual activity, according to a new survey.

Research into the views of 1,000 adults in the UK has shown 42% said they pray to God with about one in six praying every day and one in four praying at least once a week.

on the AOL news

It appears to be a comfort thing. However I did wonder about

Prayer was so popular that even those with no religion were participating – with one in eight, or 12%, of this group praying sometimes.

I can only assume that they prey to a concept.

The phrase

A total of 57% of those who pray said they believed that prayer changed what happened in their life and 32% said they had seen the effect of prayer on their lives.

Just shows humans are very good at seeing patterns where none exist. Reserch actually shows that when praying for hospital patients, those with no pleas to the Big Sky Daddy, on average, healed quicker.

Maybe Britain is not as rational when it comes to science as I like to believe, but then given the explosion of pseudoscience- homeopathy, crystals etc I should not be surprised.

Breasts, Nipples and Beer Wednesday, Oct 24 2007 


So, after putting a title on that will have 95% of men going “Where!” I give you a story that shows that maybe the Australian Authorities are not as happy-go-lucky as they like to portray their national characteristics.  This from AOL news reports:

A barmaid who demonstrated her party trick of crushing beer cans between her breasts has been fined more than £400 for breaking Australian licensing laws.

And a colleague who helped Luana De Faveri show off her other talent of hanging spoons from her nipples was fined £200.

Ms De Faveri, 31, pleaded guilty to two breaches of the county’s Liquor Control Act, according to the Australian Associated Press.

Police said she twice exposed her breasts to customers in the Premier Hotel in Pinjarra, near Perth. (more…)

Why the Bible isn’t an RPG Saturday, Oct 6 2007 


GM: “On Sunday evening you see your Master”

Matthew: “You all told me he was dead- I’ve joined this party under false pretences”

Thomas: “It’s a Zombie!  I try to ‘Turn’ it.”

Peter: “I draw my sword, +3 vs Ears”

Please feel free to add your own!

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